Rebirth cares for no plans, feelings nor any other idea. Rebirth is a soldier of destiny.
I won’t move another finger if I don’t deem it necessary.
Exhausted.
See the bigger picture
Play the scapegoat
Shit ain’t worth it.
Exhausted.
I won’t move another finger.
the poise of stillness disguised as flowing chaos
the poise of fluid chaos disguised as stillness
this is in no way to try to make another way of losing someone seem less painful. this is about those who people assume are doing fine despite someone they loved passing because they were aware of what could occur. what would likely occur. the forgotten ups and downs. the unseen torture that is watching illness and time slowly work together consume hope. you can not prepare for those ups and downs. you can not prepare for all of those days in between. to feel as though wrapping your mind around it is to accept it and to accept it is to give up. to wanting it to end, except knowing how it will likely end, so you hand over your heart and sanity to miracles. you do not only watch someone pass in their death bed. you watch them pass for the days, months, years, even decades after you found out something was wrong. you watch freedom stripped from them. you watch their life become almost completely about the small possibility of seeing tomorrow. hobbies and pastimes a rarity. you question what life really is. it becomes exhaustingly clear that existing and are not one in the same. you see the light of life come too close to the tree and bleed it of any semblance of water until it becomes ashes. it will always be shocking when they’re not here anymore. no I wasn’t fucking ready. at all. there’s no way to be ready for that.